


I'll always come back

by heylena



Series: The Nice and Hozier Plan [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, Post Apocawasn't, Song: It Will Come Back (Hozier), a lot of pining, and also: hozier, just crowley not dealing well with his feelings, oh also theres a cat, some fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-10-01 23:27:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20435735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heylena/pseuds/heylena
Summary: In which Crowley finally gathers the courage to speak up about his feelings, but a stray cat becomes an obstacle (and a metaphor).“Crowley couldn’t be jealous of a cat, right? All of the courage he gathered through the last six thousand years, which he was finally ready to put to good use, only to have his whole moment ruined by a four-legged fur ball. For all he knew, it could take him another six thousand years to even consider doing this again.”





	I'll always come back

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is my first published work, I hope you like it! (also: this is unbeta-ed and it's 3a.m., so if you find any mistakes, just tell me please!)  
If you want to, you can follow me on tumblr, I'm @heylenaa
> 
> And if you came all the way here without knowing about It Will Come Back, or Hozier (or just want to listen to it again), you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgWOJIC6Kp8

Approximately three months had passed from the day the world almost ended from the day this story begins. It was a cloudy Tuesday on London, the way they usually are, and Aziraphale decided he had kept his bookshop opened for too long already (he actually had only changed the little sign at the door to “Open” about three hours ago). Some lady tried to rush in at the last moment, but Aziraphale just pointed at the (much bigger) sign that said “Sorry, we’re closed”, and locked the door.

He didn’t know exactly why he bought that sign, since he never once felt sorry for having closed the shop, and, to be honest, he were most likely to feel that he had dodged a bullet on most times, after all, what if someone who entered had the audacity to actually _buy_ one of his books? He shivered at the thought, and tried to distract himself thinking about something nicer, like where he might go to have lunch, since it was almost noon.

“Do I want Italian food, or sushi? Maybe a sandwich?” He tried to decide whilst already walking through the back door.[1]

That’s when he heard something meowing. Right there, on the sidewalk, a little kitten looked straight to the angel’s eyes, with so much fear and hunger that Aziraphale just couldn’t look away and keep going. He tried to calm the little thing with his angelic vibe, and picked it up, its once soft fur now matted, and went back inside.

He surely did the right thing, right? Love and cherish all living things and all of that. But that didn’t change the fact that he had just decided to get some Italian food and now his plans were ruined.

\---

Across town, Crowley had just woken up from his nap, that’s if you can ever call sleeping for a week a nap. Since the world didn’t end and Heaven and Hell were leaving him and Aziraphale be, there hadn’t been much to do. No temptations, no devilish work to be done. Apart from yelling at the plants, the only thing he could think of was that maybe – just maybe – he could be a little clearer about his feelings to Aziraphale and the whole thing wouldn’t end terribly. So, sometimes Crowley just slept. It was easier that way, so he wouldn’t over-think all the horrible ways that could go wrong;

But of course the only pleasant moments that ever happened to him had something to do with Aziraphale. Spending time with the angel made him happier than he would ever admit.[2]

But when his phone rang and the angel’s face came up on screen, Crowley picked it up right away. Maybe this was a sign? Not that he believed that the All Mighty would actually be helpful on this situation,[3] but once you got the human habit to seek for patterns from Destiny, it is kind of hard to get rid of it, especially when the alternative gives you an excuse to do whatever the hell you wanted to.

“What’s up angel?”

“I-I was thinking–“, in the background, something fell making a loud noise, “do you fancy some food? Maybe you could get some takeaway from Lorenzo’s so we can eat here at the bookshop.”

“Sure, angel, whatever you want. But why don’t you meet me there? I’d make sure they have a table for two; there is something I’d like to discuss with you… ” it’s important to note here that Crowley was almost afraid to ask to ask that, all he wanted was some time alone with Aziraphale, but he needed to be sure he wasn’t going too fast.[4]

“I’m… busy with something. I think it’s better if you see it yourself, to be honest. And, well, we can discuss it in the bookshop, can’t we?”, more weird noises - was it A who whispered “Get out of there”? It must have been. “Just one more thing, Crowley?”

“Yess…?”

“Do you, by any chance, know what the felines they have here on earth eat?”

\---

“Okay angel, I’ve got our Italian food and… uh, raw meat. Now, what kind of beast are you planning on feedi-”, as Crowley entered the bookstore, but couldn’t finish his sentence because seeing Aziraphale sitting on one of his cozy red chairs, with a kitten asleep in his lap and a book open at the table was suddenly too much for him.

“Shhh, could you be quieter, please?” The angel whispered. “He just fell asleep and I know he’s treating me like a cushion, but he’s so precious, I don’t want him to wake up.”

Crowley couldn’t be jealous of a cat, right? All of the courage he gathered through the last six thousand years, which he was finally ready to put to good use, only to have his whole moment ruined by a four-legged fur ball. For all he knew, it could take him another six thousand years to even consider doing this again.

But instead of showing his inner emotional breakdown, he managed enough control of himself to say:

“Him?”

“Yes, the jaguar, of course. Heavens, what are you laughing at? Crowley, please, you’re gonna– good, now he’s awake again.”

The serpent-eyed being appeared to be having the time of his life now, while Aziraphale had resigned himself to look confused and the cat made grumpy noises, feeling bitter for these lower life forms had interrupted his sacred time to rest.

“So, let’s take this back a bit. You think that small, furry beast is a _jaguar?_” Crowley pointed at what appeared to be a usual stray cat: white and black fur, green-ish eyes, pointy ears - the whole package. The animal was still lazily sitting on A’s lap, watching the two occult beings as a king would look at the court jesters.

“Yes, well… You know, just because I have a bookstore, doesn’t mean that I know everything. I like poetry far better than biology babbles. They make me feel happy, and due to what happened some months ago... You must forgive my outdated zoology knowledges.” The angel looked flustered, almost embarrassed.

“Oh, angel, that’s not a jaguar, trust me.” The demon exclaimed, finally putting down the bags he had been holding at the nearest book-free table. One of them contained pasta for two, and the other, raw meat. “And also, you should know better than to look at it with those lovey dovey eyes!”

“So… what is that? A panther? Maybe a lion? _Oh, but you’re a cute little lion, aren’t you?” _He baby-talked, petting the cat's head, and decided to ignore the last remark.

“Oh don’t _talk to it _like_ that_, for somebody’s sake, angel! You really should know better than that.” He had never seen Aziraphale so attentive to another living thing. Of course, he was an angel, but he cared for the living things at a safe distance, he didn’t go around baby-talking and petting every animal he encountered. So why was him like that with this _cat_? _<strike>And why not with him?</strike>_

“Dear Crowley, you’re being far too rough on this small being. This poor lion doesn’t have anywhere else to go! He probably hasn’t eaten enough in a while, and I think he could use a dry, warm and cozy place to take a nap.” Aziraphale continued to pet softly what he thought now to be a miniature lion, which was slowly deciding that this whole conversation was far too boring and he could have a better use of his time taking a nap.

“First off: also not a lion! And second: what’s next, you’re going to offer it your soul or something? Make this easy, angel! You’d better place it back where you found him, leave it to the land, that’s what it knows.”

“I couldn’t possibly do that! Not right now, at least. Look at how he’s cute when he sleeps!”[5]

“Angel, you’re totally missing the point here! You shouldn’t have let it in having no intention to keep it! That’s just… Nghk… Look, you’re giving him hope, and care and all those fuzzzzy feelings, which isss very angelic of you, but to do that and take it all back at the end? To let it think it deservesss love and then throw it at the curb without warning…. That’sss mean, angel.”[6]

Aziraphale thought to himself if Crowley had noticed he started hissing. It was not unusual of him to do that (even with words lacking “ss” sounds completely), but it was something that happened only when the demon got too nervous. The whole situation was very weird indeed, since the angel was expecting more excitement from Crowley’s end, who always seemed to have more enthusiasm for the other living things.[7] In fact, his whole plan depended on it, since, being completely honest, Aziraphale wasn’t really familiar with taking care of living things, and he hoped that Crowley, with his beautiful and verdant (and, well, alive) plants, could give him a hand or two on the care of this panther.

“Actually, dear boy…”

“No, Aziraphale, you ssssshouldn’t keep being kind to it! And, I mean, I brought the meat becaussse I didn’t know what you were up to, but you sssshouldn’t feed it if you’ll jusst sssend it away afterwardsss, it will come back.”

“Crowley dear, please, just listen to me for a second, ok?” Aziraphale wished he could have a larger range of motion to catch the demon’s attention, but the little jaguar had decided his lap was his preferred place to rest, and the angel knew better than to mess with him. Instead, he just kept talking. “Look, I was thinking, only if you wanted to, of course, but I would very much like to keep the panther, you know? It’s only that I’m afraid I wouldn’t do much of a good job, but I see how well you deal with your plants and it got me thinking… if you’d consider adopting the panther. With me, I mean. We’d be like… co-parenting him.”

At least the angel had enough self-assurance to be able to admit he was nervous. Admittedly, that was a big step. Some would say that he was starting to go faster. The truth is that, after the Apocawasn't, he couldn’t come up with one simple reason why they shouldn’t start taking their relationship, whatever that was, faster. Aziraphale was growing fonder of the possibility of going just fast enough, and then maybe a little extra, just to make up for all the time they lost.

But one’s nerves only hold on so far, and after some amount of time, that could have been five minutes or an entire hour, when Crowley didn’t say a thing, and just kept looking at Aziraphale, the angel’s self-assurance started vanishing. Maybe he was the one going too fast now.

“My dear boy, are you there? I know it’s a big thing to ask, and I’ll be ok if you decline. I’ll be ok with whatever you say, in fact. Just, please, _say something._”

“You’re wrong, you know?” Crowley finally said.

“What? I don’t think I understood. You don’t want to…-“

“No, not that. It’s just that you’re wrong. He’s not a panther.”

“Oh well, that I can deal with. And what about the other thing? Please be honest with me, Crowley, I won’t judge, you shouldn’t be afraid of saying what’s on your mind.”

Did the angel really wanted to know what was in Crowley’s mind? What he really, really wanted to say since practically the beginning of things? He needed to be sure of this before thinking of making a move far too risky like that was.

“Angel, do you really want to know what’s on my mind? The truth?”

And Crowley didn’t have to wait long for the answer that changed everything.

“Of course, dear! There’s no reason for you to lie or hide something for my sake. I thought that was clear, but you can express yourself as you want by my side, I’m not one to judge, after all.”

Then came a quick breath. The room was silent, not even heartbeats to be heard.[8] And then Crowley gathered enough confidence to break the silence.

“What I am _really_ thinking is that you should know better than to smile at me like that. And you definitely shouldn’t hold an offer like that to me, just to later take everything away and say I’m going too fast. Because I like you, angel. In fact, forget that, I love you, angel. But, deep down, I’m also that cat. You shouldn’t let me in with no intention to keep me, because all I want is to be around you. You shouldn’t feed my expectations if you don’t really mean it, because I _will _come back for more. I always have, and I wouldn’t change now, I’ll always come back to you.”

Crowley didn’t even breathe through this. He just thought he had enough air in his lungs at all times, and then he did. He also thought that if he stopped to breathe, he might lose the courage to say all that.

He still had some courage at the end of it, and Aziraphale didn’t look like he was eager to talk, so he kept going.

“And you know what else? You could say anything right now that it wouldn’t change a thing between us. Not on how I feel for you, anyway. You just have this effect on me… I know who I am when I’m alone, but I’m something else when I see you. I don’t feel like a demon. I don’t feel unforgiveable, or unlovable, or doomed in any way. I feel like myself. And I don’t think you understand… The truth is you should never know how easy you are to need. Being your friend, getting to know you, that was easy. But falling in love with you? That was easier. Like it’s part of some ineffable plan or something. But if you don’t feel the same, don’t have mercy on me, please. I’d rather know.”

In fact, Crowley was so immersed in his confession that he didn’t notice when the angel took the (now unhappy) cat and placed it on top of the cushions on the cozy sofa. He did notice, though, when Aziraphale got up. And he didn’t know what to expect when the angel opened his mouth to say:

“Crowley, dear?”

“Yessss?”

“You can stop talking now.”

And then Aziraphale came closer, until he was close enough to touch, and kept getting closer. Time had no meaning to neither of them. They had all the time in the world. Suddenly, they were close enough that their bodies were touching, and Crowley could feel the warmth of the angel. He was afraid to make one wrong movement and break this moment, that already felt enough like a snow globe, hidden away in their own universe.

So Aziraphale came even closer and sealed their lips together.

And they kissed. And they held each other close. And they cuddled and laughed and kissed some more.

At the end, hours or days later, they found themselves at the sofa, miracled bigger enough to fit both of them comfortably. The cat was persuaded quickly to move over and give them some privacy. Neither of them could tell where angel ended and demon started or the other way around, and they liked it just like that.

And when they finally talked, Aziraphale was the one to break the silence:

“So… Does that mean you’ll be adopting Simba with me?”

“Angel, you could come tomorrow with a whole zoo and I would adopt them, if that meant I’d get to do it with you.”

A moment of silence.

A stolen kiss.

The sudden curiosity:

“Angel? Did you just decide to call him Simba? I thought you didn’t knew The Lion King.”

“Well… now that I know for sure Simba is a cat, I figured it’d be better for all of us if I named him after a king of his own kind. Couldn’t you feel how my confusion was getting his ego higher and higher? That way, it’s a compromise. I don’t believe he would like to be called Buttercream. Or Mr. Snuggles. Or Garfield, for that matter.”

“That’s… actually smart of you, angel.”

And so they kissed more, just to celebrate.

A thought crossed Crowleys mind. Sometimes family is an angel, a demon, and their egocentric adopted cat. And maybe that was ineffable, after all.

“You know what, angel? I’m actually glad I had that spur of courage. I mean, this is amazing, everything I dreamed about and more, but I’m positive that if I spent just one more day hiding it from you, I’d end up howling outside your door.”

“Crowley, love?”

“Yes, angel?”

“You’ve got to start telling me more about those dreams of yours.”

\---

[1] That back door conveniently started existing after an angry customer saw him leaving and tried to persuade him to selling one of his books – a first edition, nonetheless! He was lucky then that Crowley scared the man away with a look and some hissing, and then they proceeded to have dinner together.

[2] To be fair, anyone who spends six thousand years getting used to shut up about their feelings wouldn’t admit that easily, so let’s take it easy on poor Crowley.

[3] Or any situation, to be honest.

[4] (again).

[5] Crowley was most definitely losing control of himself. His exact thoughts on that were the following: “I’M ALSO CUTE WHEN I SLEEP BUT YOU DON’T WANT TO FIND OUT, DO YOU?” Aziraphale, on the other hand, did want to find that out, but always assumed the Crowley knew and because the demon never brought that up, neither would he.

[6] Looking back, Crowley knew the angel would forever care for the cat. That’s not what’s important here. Crowley is a drama queen and everything is a big metaphor.

[7] Hell’s Head Office would never hear of this, of course, but Aziraphale would always remember how Crowley seemed after the unfortunate event with the unicorns, as if he was secretly mourning them.

[8] That’s because, in the heat of the moment, both of them were so nervous they just forgot that, usually, their hearts need to be beating. But since no one realized what happened, their human cover remained, and human lore was protected from another meaningless addiction (the last time Crowley forgot to make his heart beat, for a quick comparison, people around Transylvania started thinking he was a vampire).

**Author's Note:**

> That's all for today.  
If you liked it, let me know! I have a plan of linking the Ineffable Husbands to other Hozier songs, and I would like to know if you'd like/read that.  
Thank you for coming this far!


End file.
